It all started so sweet, a relationship of less than 2 days, face-to-face for only 5 minutes, and 2 phonecalls: destiny. Apparently he saw me from afar, did some research, asked some questions, and stepped up to bat by walking through my office door; all of which I find extremely appealing... however, one must remember there is a fine line between pleasantly persistant and seriously scary. I, unfortunately became aware a little after handing over my digits of what side of the line I found him to be.
Older in age, he just seemed rather grounded- beyond the games I am able to smell a mile away. Well, my nose must have had the sniffles, because this lad was teetering over the edge. I should have grabbed the red flags and ran, but feeling adventurous, I adjusted my blinders and marched my way to the restaurant where he and HIS MOTHER were having dinner. He apparently was very eager for the two women in his life to meet.
As I entered the darkened lower level of the restaurant, I should have listened to my intuition and ran back up the stairs. Well, obligation and his everything-but-subtle gestures lured me in and found me trapped in the moment. As if our awkward embrace was not enough, the refreshing misters gave off the seductive appearance of a frightening alley-way. His daunting-deliberate eye contact kept me questioning, "So, do I have clothes on right now....????". Using my arms to cover my bare skin, I put on my tolerating charm to make the night as bearable as possible. Out of charm's control was what came from his mother's mouth:
Mr. 6'4: "Well, didn't I tell you mom?"
Pressure Cooker: "Well honey, you sure do choose them. Dark hair, dark eyes, olive skin...... oh I shouldn't have said that..... that may add pressure."
Mr. 6'4: "Well, I know we haven't made it official, but we've definitely talked about it."
Wait.... what.... am I here? And make what official.... the fact that I'm about to jump in the canal and swim my way to safety is the only thing that will be made official!!!
I managed to veer the conversation away to something more.... uncomfortable... resulting in him spouting bible references at me. Oh, the laws of being socially flawless were almost thrown to the wind, as I casually stretched out my arms and announced my need to prematurally depart from this 'family gathering'.
As we walked through the streets, dear mom announced that she was going to 'look at something over there'........... coincidentally leaving her only child to walk me through a darkened parking lot!!! Utterly speechless at this amazing double team tactic, my responses got short, steps fastened, and the goal of getting to my car was the only thing on my mind. I strategically opened my car door before he could act on his obvious intensions, nodded and soaked up the obvious hand of God that was over me---- all joking aside, not kidding.
Though I love watching men seek out their prey, strategize, and go in for the kill- this was a bit too much like an actual hunting escapade. A great scene through Africa, but not along the streets of OKC. As for this pro-pitcher, he had better take his game elsewhere.
I mean.... really, what the HELL was I thinking? Does anyone have any extra skin, I think mine is still crawling.
