Her amazing (unrecognized) sense of perfection in life is equally balanced by her socially flawed love for garlic, raw. In the wee hours of the night, I could hear her clicky-clack on the hardwood floors as she prepared for countless parties in her nightgown and little shoes, I would find sweet little notes in my homemade lunches, sandwiches always cut in hearts, her beautiful bows ordained my perfect pony.... and her open-arms would wrap me up after a full day of playing with bugs, snakes, mud, and who knows what else. Always love. Always.
Mothers are there not only to nurture, but to protect. What happens to us when we must protect ourselves? I don't know. I am 24 and still in need of protection. Constant protection. Perhaps that comes with being the youngest of 3 daughters. Perhaps that comes with being human.
One day I too will become a mother and will delightfully fill those nurturing protective shoes. Well, each day we must take steps in filling our own... for ourselves. Though my precious tiny mother does a beautiful job, we, individually are to choose our protective footwear and slip into them deliberately, constantly.
Inspired and re-convicted.... I must sign off from my dear blog. I have loved entertaining you all from the angle of my keys. I have delighted in sharing my unique-genuinely-authentic adventures, overly dramatized view of life, love, and heels. This is my step of protection. Fighting to stand tall, I have succumbed to the vulnerability of those curious eyes I so fear.... fighting to hold onto this one last link. I am releasing. Let the praises be, I am releasing.
I will lay down my pen, slip back into my heels, and grab my new precious son and march on. I think I have this life thing in the bag.... but marching in heels, raising a 4-legged royal blooded son, and meeting Mr. Cardiologist for coffee, now that's a challenge.
A challenge I will start keeping to myself.... or will I?
Now I like a good challenge, but get real! A juicy column just may be in my rotating world of opportunity. After all, 'Socially Flawless' hopefuls, there still is so much to learn!
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
My mom always said, 'You can never be too prepared!'
What do you get when you throw in a cozy restaurant, four glowing girls, glass of wine, drama from all our lives, and a four hour span? You are promised to leave with an arm load of mindful/mindless treasures.....
After a few glasses, Mrs. TV brought forth the best of warnings!
Being prepared for the worst is just a way of life. Driven by the bubbles and a classic SNL episode, we were all ears. Mrs. TV's warning reached down into the core of our beings and resulted in all of us running home and digging through our photos.
Mr. and Mrs. TV had just covered the tragic subject of 'what to do if the other went missing'. Before their conversation was over, news broke and pictures-galore flooded their TV screen. A woman had gone missing and her husband was clearly distraught. Distraught.... yes..... because she was missing.... probably. What clearly devastated him was the wrong picture had been released for the whole world to see.
In her 80's bangs, fuchsia lipstick, over-sized sweatshirt, and static-stricken hair- he knew that even if she was given the chance to return home, she would succumb to fierce public humiliation!!!!! He would be held responsible for letting the wrong picture leak.
Mrs. TV knew that she was going to do everything in her power to avoid such an embarrassment.
So, while we have the chance, be prepared. Go home, dig through all your pictures, and choose wisely. Gather those near and dear and show them which picture you would want released for the world to see. This could be the difference between life and....... life after the rotating ugly picture.
That night... in a cozy Italian restaurant... after a few glasses of wine... we all vowed to save ourselves from public disgrace. Each one of us has our 'Just Incase' picture safely displayed and ready to swing over to the police at any given time.
Choose wisely my dear blog-grazers. You just never know.........
After a few glasses, Mrs. TV brought forth the best of warnings!
Being prepared for the worst is just a way of life. Driven by the bubbles and a classic SNL episode, we were all ears. Mrs. TV's warning reached down into the core of our beings and resulted in all of us running home and digging through our photos.
Mr. and Mrs. TV had just covered the tragic subject of 'what to do if the other went missing'. Before their conversation was over, news broke and pictures-galore flooded their TV screen. A woman had gone missing and her husband was clearly distraught. Distraught.... yes..... because she was missing.... probably. What clearly devastated him was the wrong picture had been released for the whole world to see.
In her 80's bangs, fuchsia lipstick, over-sized sweatshirt, and static-stricken hair- he knew that even if she was given the chance to return home, she would succumb to fierce public humiliation!!!!! He would be held responsible for letting the wrong picture leak.
Mrs. TV knew that she was going to do everything in her power to avoid such an embarrassment.
So, while we have the chance, be prepared. Go home, dig through all your pictures, and choose wisely. Gather those near and dear and show them which picture you would want released for the world to see. This could be the difference between life and....... life after the rotating ugly picture.
That night... in a cozy Italian restaurant... after a few glasses of wine... we all vowed to save ourselves from public disgrace. Each one of us has our 'Just Incase' picture safely displayed and ready to swing over to the police at any given time.
Choose wisely my dear blog-grazers. You just never know.........
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
timing isn't everything
The things we want in a jiffy, we inturn must make a tizzy.
1. A sparkling husband and wife went on a date no more romantic than a trip to the dentist's office. What was great were their polished teeth, what was not so great was her new development of TMJ. Her new bed-side best friend: Mouth Guard was also ready for pickup that same day. This blasted thing could not come too late.
2. 'Goldie' (as we all knew her as) was the dream bikini. A healthy mix of brown and gold: the perfect blend. Anxiously awaiting its arrival for a scheduled trip with Mr. Benz, of course it would come in much too late. We waited.... and we waited..... and we waited. Long after the relationship and primetime sun/body conditioning, it would grace my mailbox. Oh to hell with Vicky's.... it will have to await next summers romantic getaways. The Vicky's associate knew this bathing beauty could not come too soon, but in turn came way too late.
3. Why when we need a dress for a certain occasion, the dry cleaners can only have it ready by Thursday, but when we have a boring cardigan they can have it next day?
4. Sparing no expense with hair appointments, I would give many a-things for a timely hair appointment. Because I go to Ms. Beauty herself, a month is the typical wait. Going to 'Dr. Female' no time at all.... of course groping would come before a deep conditioning.
5. Have you ever found a piece of jewelry that defines you? Well, flighty sounding, yes. Fearful of it running out of my life, yes. I will not risk this to the 'what ifs'. In this situation, timing is everything and I think I shall run over there and buy up my treasure before it too becomes an untimely disappointment worth pouting about.
Things we could do without, they arrive without even a pout.
1. A sparkling husband and wife went on a date no more romantic than a trip to the dentist's office. What was great were their polished teeth, what was not so great was her new development of TMJ. Her new bed-side best friend: Mouth Guard was also ready for pickup that same day. This blasted thing could not come too late.
2. 'Goldie' (as we all knew her as) was the dream bikini. A healthy mix of brown and gold: the perfect blend. Anxiously awaiting its arrival for a scheduled trip with Mr. Benz, of course it would come in much too late. We waited.... and we waited..... and we waited. Long after the relationship and primetime sun/body conditioning, it would grace my mailbox. Oh to hell with Vicky's.... it will have to await next summers romantic getaways. The Vicky's associate knew this bathing beauty could not come too soon, but in turn came way too late.
3. Why when we need a dress for a certain occasion, the dry cleaners can only have it ready by Thursday, but when we have a boring cardigan they can have it next day?
4. Sparing no expense with hair appointments, I would give many a-things for a timely hair appointment. Because I go to Ms. Beauty herself, a month is the typical wait. Going to 'Dr. Female' no time at all.... of course groping would come before a deep conditioning.
5. Have you ever found a piece of jewelry that defines you? Well, flighty sounding, yes. Fearful of it running out of my life, yes. I will not risk this to the 'what ifs'. In this situation, timing is everything and I think I shall run over there and buy up my treasure before it too becomes an untimely disappointment worth pouting about.
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Free-falling in Dallas
Wrapping and packing..... and wondering when it would all end. Brad Mehldau jazzed us through the morning as mounding boxes began to move us out of the house. A dear college friend and I packed the weekend away.... all the while discussing the latest and greatest, the past pains, potential future pains, and most of all, questioning her need for all those darn blenders we were uncovering. I ask you, who needs 5 different blenders........?
The quest of moving into their very own, spacious, customized home.... was met with sad hesitation of giving up their small, one bathroom, quaint cottage. The floor to ceiling windows, thick wood floors, and pleasant aroma of the years will soon be abandoned. With my ever-present optimistic angst to move on to bigger and better.... I naturally expected the same from her. However, in all her bold ambition, dream of great things, and a fellow lover of glamorous ambiance, 'bigger and better' was overshadowed by her grand beginnings in this tiny house.
It amazes me how hard it is to move on.... let go of the old and move on with the new. The new most often if not always being better.... why do we struggle to loosen the grips only to reach for the next? We stagger in the face of uncertainty. The brief moment of free-fall.
The pressing lesson that I have years and years of relearning is that we MUST move on. We must move on to grow. For Mr. and Mrs. Cottage..... their plans of a precious family entitle them to this exciting but hesitant move. For me, though I LOVE my life in Oklahoma, the essence of moving on just may entitle me to a great move to Europe.
Hearts always content to just stay and safely be. The Lord in all His infamous glory pushing us onward, moving us out of our safe cottages, to be met with hesitant-glorious 'bigger and better'.
Moving on to bigger and better, absolutely...... sometimes met with minor longings of the past, absolutely. Trusting that whatever Divine road I take will lead ultimately to bigger and better..... it already has and it will continue. Just a day of memories and a day of moving....... on.
The quest of moving into their very own, spacious, customized home.... was met with sad hesitation of giving up their small, one bathroom, quaint cottage. The floor to ceiling windows, thick wood floors, and pleasant aroma of the years will soon be abandoned. With my ever-present optimistic angst to move on to bigger and better.... I naturally expected the same from her. However, in all her bold ambition, dream of great things, and a fellow lover of glamorous ambiance, 'bigger and better' was overshadowed by her grand beginnings in this tiny house.
It amazes me how hard it is to move on.... let go of the old and move on with the new. The new most often if not always being better.... why do we struggle to loosen the grips only to reach for the next? We stagger in the face of uncertainty. The brief moment of free-fall.
The pressing lesson that I have years and years of relearning is that we MUST move on. We must move on to grow. For Mr. and Mrs. Cottage..... their plans of a precious family entitle them to this exciting but hesitant move. For me, though I LOVE my life in Oklahoma, the essence of moving on just may entitle me to a great move to Europe.
Hearts always content to just stay and safely be. The Lord in all His infamous glory pushing us onward, moving us out of our safe cottages, to be met with hesitant-glorious 'bigger and better'.
Moving on to bigger and better, absolutely...... sometimes met with minor longings of the past, absolutely. Trusting that whatever Divine road I take will lead ultimately to bigger and better..... it already has and it will continue. Just a day of memories and a day of moving....... on.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Cashmere Crisis Center
Offering all the love I could give to my youthful god-son, I put down my notepad, threw aside my pen and shifted my cell phone......
After a few moments of quality loving, I stood up only to discover that in all of this love, I had seriously unloved the softest treasure I had worn all day.
Big, huge, uninvited, black ink marks all over my powder blue cashmere! Though my friend dear, over the phone she could not offer any of her 5-month old motherly advice. God-son's mother asked her mother who told me to call my mother. With all these 'mothers' going around... off went my favorite cashmere and on went a frown.... as I screamed, "My cashmere, my favorite cashmere!!!"
I guess that's what love looks like. Love, we offer it at the risk of dirtying 'our prized cashmere'. Frankly, I don't know if I am willing to dirty any more cashmere.... no, as for now, the pricey commodity of fragile cashmere will not be put at risk for tarnishing, I am currently in protective plastic... figuratively speaking, of course. After all, shouldn't we be saving the real cashmere for the real deal?
Will I be meeting the real deal later this week? It may be a risk worth wearing plastic, he did type 'WORD!' to which I didn't know in my right mind how to respond.... 'The Girls' all decided he was trying to be a cleaver little thing.... a cleaver little thing who will have to accept plastic for now.
Does anyone know where the nearest Cashmere Crisis Center is, my view on love and my cashmere halter have been 'inked' and in need of a good cleansing scrub.
After a few moments of quality loving, I stood up only to discover that in all of this love, I had seriously unloved the softest treasure I had worn all day.
Big, huge, uninvited, black ink marks all over my powder blue cashmere! Though my friend dear, over the phone she could not offer any of her 5-month old motherly advice. God-son's mother asked her mother who told me to call my mother. With all these 'mothers' going around... off went my favorite cashmere and on went a frown.... as I screamed, "My cashmere, my favorite cashmere!!!"
I guess that's what love looks like. Love, we offer it at the risk of dirtying 'our prized cashmere'. Frankly, I don't know if I am willing to dirty any more cashmere.... no, as for now, the pricey commodity of fragile cashmere will not be put at risk for tarnishing, I am currently in protective plastic... figuratively speaking, of course. After all, shouldn't we be saving the real cashmere for the real deal?
Will I be meeting the real deal later this week? It may be a risk worth wearing plastic, he did type 'WORD!' to which I didn't know in my right mind how to respond.... 'The Girls' all decided he was trying to be a cleaver little thing.... a cleaver little thing who will have to accept plastic for now.
Does anyone know where the nearest Cashmere Crisis Center is, my view on love and my cashmere halter have been 'inked' and in need of a good cleansing scrub.
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