Yielding itself towards the gloomier of days, I ventured through my unfortunate neighborhood of abandoned shopping carts, tailess hungry cats, and multiplied by the dozen families. How I have survived this 'ghetto-inhabited hood' is beyond me: perhaps by the prayers of my forefathers and the pleading of my dear mother.
Regardless, for some strange reason that day I decided to take it all in. In the process of saturating myself with the rugged appearance, a HELP WANTED sign stood out from all the other 'SINGLES?', 'Kissmygrass', and Bailbonds notices. It read "Cheap Sewer Work". I nearly jumped out of my skin! I am in the process of hiring an 'experienced sewer' and have had a bit of a challenge finding one: the Lord has heard my cries for help!
With not an ounce of hesitation I grabbed my cell phone and dialed my fortunate-future-fantastic-employee. As my adrenalin kicked in, I anxiously waited for a sweet old woman's voice to accept my unimagineable offer of work. Before the phone even rang 3 times, my companies future was completely drawn out.
The mental construction of my future office site was suddenly demolished by a deep, dirty, southern, smokey man's voice.... "Haelo?" Trying not to sound disturbed or stereotypically surprised, "Ummm, I am responding to a sign posted regarding sewers.".... "What you said?".... "I'm wondering if you are looking for work, or wanting to hire an experienced seamstress?".... a few empty seconds.... "Honey, I don't know what you're talking 'bout, I clean out sewage."
I honestly think he was too clouded by his constant bowel-plunging that he couldn't enjoy this Friends episode I created. Sewer and sewer, who would know the difference! I seem to invite these situations quite regularly and on a rare moment am I willing to share. Learn from me, DON'T CALL POSTED NUMBERS YOU FIND ON THE SIDE OF ROADS.
As for this classic moment, "No, though I am emptying my life of dirty shit, sewage doesn't seem to be my problem right now! Thanks."
